"Haters make me famous - How I deal with haters."
Sometimes people in life are going to say and do things that we don't like. I'm still learning that it's okay and definitely normal. It's how we choose to react that really makes a difference. Especially reacting to some one else's opinion.
This just so happened to come up in my life so I decided to blog about it and share my perspective. I'm also using it as a self esteem building exercise. As you're about to read, this is an account of me posting an ad in the musician's section on Craigslist. I placed an ad to see about starting up a musical project. So of course, I posted my links to my demos and this is what I got back:
From Craigslist User:
"you are no good please stop go back where you came from and dont make music anymore please"
Well what a nice email that happened to come through my inbox. I read it once, and then decided to respond with this:
"Thanks I'll use that energy to get better. Have a nice day."
Without any afterthoughts, I let the negativity I felt in that criticism morph into something positive. I then thought to myself for a moment, "well that is that person's feelings about what I was capable of doing at the time that I did it", that's why they are called vocal demos. Of course they're going to be bad, that's why I created an ad to seek out other people who might be at my suck level. Or, maybe I just need to be around like minded people to get better. There are so many ways to look at it.
Thank God for therapy because I would have thought about this completely differently and may have gone about this in a more destructive way. Anxiety and depression are still here chilling with me. I've just found some better ways to keep them entertained. I keep thinking about the reframing aspect of CBT and interrupting my negative thought patterns by trying to reframe them in a positive way. It doesn't matter if you don't believe it at first. As you continue to practice this reframing technique, it will start to challenge the you think in every day situations. That's how it's working out for me so far. I am not a licensed therapist or psychologist. If you, or a loved one is in crisis please stop reading this and call 911 or text anything to 741741. They have volunteers ready and waiting 27/4 to talk to you. I have personally texted and it was a really great experience.
I could have gotten upset and let this comment stop me from wanting to make music. If I would have done that then I wouldn't be writing about this incident, which is more content for the blog, more entertainment for my readers, and more punk rock energy for me to go for my musical dreams even harder. I'm always interested in improving my skills anyway. I'm a life long learner. And finally, why should I be bothered by another person looking on Craigslist for the same thing? You're just like me, and I'm just like you. We're all out here trying to make good things on this earth. Everyone has the right to find their true happiness. The only way that can happen is to go out into the unknown called life, and see just exactly what the hell it is that you're made of.
Never give up on your dreams, goals, passions, or whatever it is that makes you feel some type of joy. Some days are harder than others especially when you're trying to work on your mental health, but that's okay. I'm just advocating for treating yourself like you are your own best friend and just do that thing one thing to spark some joy for the both of you. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you for it. We have to be kind to ourselves. Self love is the best love. If we can't love ourselves then can we love anyone else?
The world is ours and I hope you're doing the best you can with what you've been given at this very moment. Stay safe and be well. We're in the journey together.
Until next time...
NorthBoundWriter
(Zeno Matsumoto)
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