"What are your dreams and goals?"

When was the last time you did something for yourself? It doesn't matter if it is big or small, expensive or cheap. When was the last time you let yourself explore yourself?For more ideas on DIY and Mental Health, check out this website called Self-Love Rainbow. This is an affiliated link and I will receive a small commission if you happen to purchase something from the site.

I'm 30 now ,and for the longest time it seems like I've been holding myself hostage. What I mean by this is the fact that I have let my dreams and goals fall by the wayside. 

It's time for me to start thinking about what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. If I'm granted 60 years, that's just what I'm thinking of when it comes to the rest of my life at this moment. So this blog is mainly me just trying to express myself as best as possible. I'm not really focused on the grammar or the syntax or the structure. 

I've always been told I'm a ranter so might as well put this weakness to work and make it into a strength. I was raised in poverty as I'll mention throughout this process and I have been bullied throughout my life. At some point I think I'll end up writing a book or a memoir. There's something about English and writing and the creativity in them that is inspiring and alluring. But at the same time I'd like to work on this craft and develop it more. 

I think as humans we will always be learning and always improving, so I need to make sure that I continue doing that rather than consuming things that don't help me improve in some way. I used to be really hardcore about going back to college and studying so much so that I sold my gaming console, PC, TV and pretty much anything I could think of that was a distraction from learning and studying.

At this current point in time, I'm taking a moment in my life to seek therapy and figure out where I want to live where I want to be. I'm still planning to move to Colorado, but I'm not sure if that is a good idea in this climate. Things like inflation and the war. It's going to be hard. But at the same time I want it to be, because it's the challenges that keep me going. For some reason I am always excited to have adventure and to see new things and to meet new people. I am also working on improving my self-esteem and I think going to a new place and challenging yourself to stay on your feet and survive just feels enthralling. I don't really know who I am or what I want to become really and I say this only because I'm currently living in the present and at the present moment I am not where I would imagine myself being. But I guess that's a part of things too. That old saying that it's not the destination but it's the journey and these things are starting to sink into my head clearer this time without all the immature rhetoric that I've been surrounded by. In general, I'm just trying to figure out the best version of myself that I'd like to see, if that makes any sense. Like i always say who really knows how to live this human experience, this human life, but when I look into how people are living it, they certainly talk about their passions and interests, being something that keeps them content or satisfied per se. 

For now, I'm enjoying the journey of working on my writing, my music, my therapy, my life and family, etc. Etc. There's a part of me in that wants to travel, but then there's a part of me that wants to work on my skills so that I can learn to utilize these resources that we have in this lifetime. There's so much you can do on this earth nowadays compared to the times that the older generation was brought up in and I need to learn to captivate that. Or I think the word that I'm looking for is capture that moment and that's how I feel with writing in music. But in the real sense of the world I need to capture this time frame that I have, let me repeat that again this time that I have. 

Clearly I've made it this far as an adult. I should be able to go for my dreams. Go for what I want instead of being my biggest critic and getting in my way. Before I publish this blog, I am definitely going to proofread, reread and make sure that everything is conveyed the way I'd like it to be. I guess it's a way to make sure I am actually being coherent, but I won't really know that until I publish this darn thing and receive comments from the world. That's one of the biggest thing that I'm working on right now in therapy. Learning how to get a sense of my self-esteem and begin building on who I want to be and being 100% okay with myself. It is definitely easier said than done, but it is a work in progress. It's the journey that I'm on that I'm more interested in rather than surface level things like materials and such. Although those materials are nice from time to time.

Lastly, I'm not even here to judge anyone, hell I'm trying not to judge myself. I just realized that I am an individual on this earth and I have rights to enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Whatever that might be for me. I need to start being creative again and learn how to open up and shake off the negatives of the world, again. Easier said than done but if I can do that, maybe I can start being more positive in my life. Even though I know darn well that not everything is happy-go-lucky, hunky-dory, sunshines and rainbows everyday. 

It's just not possible and even if it was I don't even think I want to live in the reality. For if we never went through the bad things, how can we learn to love the good things? Or at least that's what I think. Yeah, that's what I personally think as a person out of billions and that has to be okay. 

As I come to a close I hope that you gain some insight on your dreams and goals. Whether it's today or tomorrow. I hope that you're showing up the best way you can in your own time. Please be well and take care of one another.

Thank you all so much for reading. 

If you have gained any value and liked reading any of my material on this blog then please leave me a "Peace" sign emoji in the comment section or at my social media handles @NBWBlogger and definitely follow me or subscribe. This way I can get an idea of what kind of content I can start working on to make sure I do my part to give back to our beautiful "HUMAN Internet" community. However you would like to find ways to be notified so you'll know when I post at the very least. To whom it may concern, I hope you're doing what you can how you can with what you've been given because you are truly worth it.

Until next time...

NorthBoundWriter

(Zeno Matsumoto)

www.northboundwriter.com